Thursday, November 6, 2008

Love Dare Day 26

Today, by far, is the hardest day for me.  It has caused me to have to take a really long and hard look at myself.  So, because I don't like to feel bad alone...

Have you noticed that in today's society that fewer and fewer people are willing to take responsibility for their actions?  It's not hard to see.  Everyone always has an excuse for everything or why it is someone elses fault.  Personal responsibility.  We all agree that it's important and that others should have it.  But we have a hard time accepting it for ourselves.

It's not just those around us that I'm talking about.  To find these kinds of people all we have to do is look at ourselves.  We quickly justify our motives, point out the flaws in our spouse, and reject any criticism.

We always believe that our views and opinions are correct or at least more right than our spouse's.  And we have a hard time believing that anyone else, given our situation, would behave or react any differently.

But true love doesn't pass the buck.  OR try to justify selfishness.  It is more concerned with our spouse's needs rather than itself.  When love takes responsibility for its actions, it is not to prove how noble you've been but rather to admit how much further you have to go!!!  

When Frank and I are in an argument, most of the time I am not really listening to him.  I am thinking about what I am going to say the moment he shuts his mouth.  And sometimes I don't even wait that long.  Love should cause me to FIRST admit my own wrongs instead of pointing the finger.

I John 1:8 tells us If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.  I can't tell you the number of times I have focused on what Frank is or is not doing instead of myself.  Not willing to admit that I was at as much fault or more fault than he was.

Can your spouse say that you have wronged them or hurt them and never made it right?  Part of taking personal responsibility is asking forgiveness.  The problem is that our pride is bigger than our hearts a lot of the time.  We need to ask forgiveness regardless of the response we receive.  Admit your mistakes to them without bringing up the ways that they have wronged you.

Here is what we do today.  TAKE TIME TO PRAY  THROUGH YOUR AREAS OF WRONGDOING.  ASK GOD'S FORGIVENESS, THEN HUMBLE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO ADMIT THEM TO YOUR SPOUSE.  NO MATTER HOW THEY RESPOND, MAKE SURE YOU COVER YOUR RESPONSIBILITY IN LOVE.

Okay, praying I did.  And as much as I would like to say otherwise, it was not easy.  I don't like to think of myself as being wrong.  Especially where Frank is concerned.  I like to be right.  This is where we clash a lot because he does too and usually neither one of us will budge one little bit.  So, the Lord pointed out some areas to me that I have failed miserably in.  Obviously, I can't talk to him about it face to face today and I would rather it not be a phone or text conversation (we all know that without seeing facial expression or hearing tone we can easily misunderstand things!  Right, Kate?? *grin*)  So, I will be talking to him tomorrow.

I better start looking for that HDT right now....

7 comments:

Sandy Toes said...

We try never to let the sun go down on our anger....sometimes that is hard....but the more "suns" that go down...the harder a heart will get!
Great post!
-sandy toes

CntryMomma said...

See, I'm the opposite. I tend to blame myself first 90% percentage of the time.

I know it's scary to have the talk with your hubby. But something tells me that he will forgive you completely and you'll be closer than ever. That is what the exercise is about, huh? :o)

LORI

CntryMomma said...

Oh I'm couldn't be mad at you over that ... however, I did gasp when I read your comment. :o ~ I guess as long as I like 'em, huh?

LOL

LORI

Davisix said...

I'm the type that always thinks things are my fault and I get what I deserve. Unless it's about the kids and then, well...I'm always right. LOL Seriously, this is a great post.

Shannon said...

This was good. I can definately be the type just waiting for hubby to shut his mouth so I can jump in. I'm really enjoying your Love Dare posts.

Keli said...

Isn't it always the man's fault?? Just kiddin'! I'm the one that always says I'm sorry first because I hate to fight. Good post! Mr. Mom and I are going to take the dare! I'm getting the book this weekend!

Elaine said...

Good stuff. Hard but true.