Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Love Dare Day 28

I believe that I have one of the hardest jobs in the world. Anyone that is a SAHM knows exactly what I am talking about. And if you have more than one (not that only being a SAHM of one isn't hard either...) well, it's doubly hard. Now, I know that my husband has a hard job, too with a ton of responsibilities. He started a bank from the ground up, from scratch for crying out loud!!! However, on many days you could not convince me that his job was harder. If Frank came home complaining, I had little sympathy. Some, but not a lot.

(I know. I sound horrible. But I'm just trying to keep it real here for ya'll.) I mean, life never stops for me. Even if I am sick. Even when I am tired. Even when I just.want.to.be.ALONE! And I would like to take my "customers" somewhere other than Burger King for our business lunches! And I would like to retreat to my bathroom without people always following me. At least when he deals with difficult "customers", they are adults. And he can reason with them to some degree. And they are going to leave at some point.

Whew! Life can be tough!! But what we really mean most of the time when we say that is life can be tough for us. We can easily see when life is difficult for us. We are quick to notice when we are mistreated or unappreciated. When our spouse starts telling us how hard life is for them, we just chalk it up to complaining or having a bad attitude a lot of the time. After all, life is harder for us than it is for them, right?

But love wants us to be sensitive to our spouse. Before they are overwhelmed, love steps in. Love sees the stress and worries building up and rushes to help. Love makes us respond without having to be asked. And if we do have to be asked, love makes us take a look at the heart of the problem, even if the words our spouse uses are harsh and cutting. Love causes us to respond with compassion rather than defensively. It says "no" to what we want and "yes" to what their needs are.

Instead of sitting around upset that they are not treating you the way you think they should, let love pick you up out of your SELF PITY and turn your attention to their needs. Man, that hit me like a ton of bricks when I read that. Did you know that even having a pity party is sin? It is just another form of pride. Whether you are thinking too highly of yourself or too lowly of yourself... you are still thinking of yourself. And what we are supposed to be doing is thinking of others.

Dare: WHAT IS ONE OF THE GREATEST NEEDS IN YOUR SPOUSES LIFE RIGHT NOW? IS THERE A NEED YOU COULD TAKE FROM THEM BY AN ACT OF SACRIFICE ON YOUR PART? PURPOSE TO DO WHAT YOU CAN TO MEET THAT NEED.

Again, I had to ask him. (I'm thinking that pretty soon with all the questions I have been asking that he is going to catch on.) He thought for a few minutes and said that honestly he couldn't think of anything. Except maybe someone to do the ironing for him (more on that in the next post!!) And that's not gonna happen! Over the past 2 or 3 months, we have had some discussions similar to this one. He told me some things that were causing him stress or irritation around here that added to his stress from work. Although those conversations usually did not go over too well at first, I did my very best to accommodate all of his wishes. And some of them do require sacrifice. And I am not always happy to do them, but I do them. Because I love him and want to do whatever possible to meet his needs.

4 comments:

Elaine said...

Gosh this is so good. Tough work, you are doing an amazing job and inspiring me at the same time.

The pity party got to me today. ooops...

Keli said...

Another wonderful post! It's so hard sometimes!

BTW - I haven't started the dare - I haven't had time to stop for the book! But I will have it by the weekend!

Davisix said...

Whew, some of these are tougher than others. I loved everything you wrote and was bobbing my head right along. I got to the ironing think and smiled....we are SO alike. Another great challenge. Thanks! Love you, Ang

Martha said...

Great post again! I have never thought of self-pity like that... I can be pretty good at pity parties.

I loved Fireproof! I'm so glad my husband and I got to see it over the weekend. That's awesome that you go to the church that made it!!