Monday, November 24, 2008

Love Dare Day 35

Dare for today says: FIND A MARRIAGE MENTOR-SOMEONE WHO IS A STRONG CHRISTIAN AND WHO WILL BE HONEST AND LOVING WITH YOU.

Before Frank and I came to our current church about 4 1/2 yrs ago, things on the home front were not great. I'm not saying we were headed for divorce at that point, but if things had kept going much longer the way they were, it certainly could have ended up there. The friends that I had surrounded myself with, although they were good and kind, did not give me the kind of advice that I really needed. But I turned to them often because they supported my poor way of thinking. Everything was Frank's fault. He was the one that needed to change, not me. He was the problem.

One of the things that I prayed desperately about was for the Lord to send me some really good Christian friends. Friends that desired to go deep with the Lord. Not surface dwelling Christians like I had been. But those that truly applied the Word to their life and would challenge me to do the same. When Frank and I started attending our church that we are part of now, the Lord more than answered that prayer.

He surrounded me with the dearest friends that I have ever had. And I mean that. These friends will not hold back on the truth. They don't just tell me what I want to hear very often. They will not allow me to continue in wrong ways of thought. They call me on the carpet when necessary.

It is important to surround ourselves with these kinds of friendships. Although I have a handful of people that I consider to be my nearest and dearest, I have one in particular that I go directly to whenever I am having issues in my marriage. Because I know that she will point me to what the Word says is my responsibility in the situation. Even when I don't like what she has to say. And that has been often. Don't we oftentimes just want someone to support our bad way of thinking. We will just keep on singling people out, bending their ears UNTIL we find the one that agrees with us? THEN that is the person whose counsel that we choose to seek out.

This is not what the Word tells us is right. Proverbs 12:15 says The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel. Wise people are those that seek counsel AND receive it. Foolish people never seek it and then ignore it when it's given. So what do we need to look for in someone to take marital advice from? Well, first of all you look for someone who has the kind of marriage that you want to have. Someone who has a heart for the Lord and always puts him first. You seek out someone who doesn't live by the way they "feel", but by the Word of God.

If you don't have someone like this in your life, start praying NOW for God to send you the person you need. I can honestly say that these friendships that I have made a world of difference to my marriage.

Hebrews 3:13 Encourage one another day after day... so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

6 comments:

Shannon said...

Good stuff. I really enjoy your Love Dare posts.

Amanda said...

Best advice Ive heard all day. I've been relying a lot on email freinds and bloggy freinds to help out in stuff...cause I haven't found that special mentor just yet... or maybe I have and I just need to open up a bit more...anywho... good post!

Many blessings-
Amanda

He And Me + 3 said...

That was a great post! I really needed to hear that.

Elaine said...

This is so good. I definately have a mentor that keeps me accountable, it is the greatest.

You are doing amazing with this.

Emily said...

Are you going to have a wedding on day 40?? Cause I would REALLY like to be a bridesmaid:)))

*totally*kidding

Davisix said...

My heart is yearning to find a good church. We have been to a few so far but we aren't sure yet which one we will eventually call "home". We do have strong Christian mentors but they don't live anywhere near us. :( Another great post!!! xoxo Ang