It's day 10 of the Love Dare. Only 30 more to go. I can do this. But man, this really takes some thought. My brain is soo tired...
Lets talk about unconditional love. I thought when I was first married that my love was unconditional. Guess what?? It wasn't. As long as Frank was doing what I wanted him to and treating me like I felt I deserved to be treated, we rocked along just fine. That is NOT what true love is. It is not based on feeling or conditions or whether or not the other deserves it.
When someone asks you what you love about your spouse, what do you say?? Most of us probably list some things like they are good provider, kind, honest, helpful (maybe on this one *he-he*), good looking, things along that line. If the reasons that we say we love them are all based on some quality that they have, then when that particular quality disappears.. our whole basis for loving them disappears too.
Only unconditional love can last forever, your whole lifetime. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one CHOOSING to love. WOW!! I don't know about you, but that one hit me like a sack of taters!
It's the same thing with God. God doesn't love us because we are all so lovable but because he is so loving. If God required us to prove ourselves worthy of His love, then none of us would have it. The love of God is a choice He makes totally on His own.
If you say that you have fallen out of love, then in essence what you are saying is that you never loved them unconditionally to begin with. That love was based on circumstances and feelings rather than commitment. Unconditional love will not be deterred by time or circumstance.
I Corinthians 13: 7 says Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things... You can't love like that on your own. It has to come from God. Because we don't have on our own what it takes to make it through all the "conditions" of a marriage.
Today I was supposed to DO SOMETHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY FOR YOUR SPOUSE. SOMETHING THAT PROVES TO YOU AND TO THEM THAT YOUR LOVE IS BASED ON YOUR CHOICE AND NOTHING ELSE.
This one was kinda hard for me. Given the events of the day today (getting ready for the party tonight) I wasn't even sure if I would be able to actually do this one today or if I would have to wait until later this weekend. But, what I did was to take care of all of the details of the party today myself, instead of having Frank do a bunch of stuff when he got here. Now, I didn't do them all by myself, because I just couldn't. So, I did have some help. But, Frank didn't have to do anything.
He called me on his way out here to find out what all he would need to do. I told him nothing, just to come on home. He said "What??" He then proceeded to go through his list that was in his head I guess. Pick up anything from the store? Nope. Already did it. Go get the tables? Nope. Already done that. Get the wood for the bonfire? Nope. Did that too. Set up the tables? Nope. Finished. Let's just say I think he was shocked that he had nothing to do. (he did cut the grass yesterday. in the dark!)
So, I don't know if it really mattered or not. I didn't see fireworks or anything, but I'm used to that. But, it did make me feel good to be able to take care of everything for him!