We are constantly bombarded in our culture with SELF. All about ME. Have it my way, whatever makes YOU feel good, how are things working for ME, what do I like or need or think I MUST have right now. Our world is obsessed with self. And if there was a word that could adequately describe what the opposite of love is... it's selfishness. Almost every sinful action is rooted in selfishness. Selfishness is a trait we hate in other people, but justify in ourselves. (YIKES! Did you read that??)
I Corinthians 13:5 tells us that love does not seek it's own... So when I am constantly nagging Frank or complaining about all the time I spend having to do things for him, I am being selfish.
But did you realize that even doing "nice" things for someone can be an act of selfishness if the motive is to receive something in return or to be able to brag about what you have done? You either make decisions out of love for yourself... or love for others. Period. But, when we put our spouse and their needs above that of our own, the feeling we get inside is not something that can be mimicked by selfish actions.
Whether you like it or not, you have a reputation in the eyes of those around you, especially in the eyes of your spouse. But is it a loving reputation? I don't know about you, but most times I think of my reputation in terms of the way that others see me and what I do, not Frank. I don't really give any thought to my reputation to Frank.
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves." Philippians 2:3
My challenge today was, again, not say anything negative, and TO BUY YOUR SPOUSE SOMETHING THAT SAYS "I WAS THINKING OF YOU TODAY". Okay, easy street today. As far as the buying something that is. I went to 3 different stores today to find my husband his favorite candy. Not every store carries them and certainly not in the big bags. Frank LOVES Rolo's. A lot. Really, he has eaten a large bag of them for dinner before. Eaten them until he was sick. So, I knew he would like this. And I already had them in the freezer for him, just the way he likes to eat them. Now, you may be thinking that is too small of a gift or nothing of significance. But keep in mind that I am also a SAHM so it's not like I bring in a big ole' paycheck either. And I wanted him to focus on the thought that went behind the gift and not the money I spent on it.
So, when Frank got home from work, I gave him the Rolo's. He was very appreciative. Now, you have to understand, the Griffin Family just does not get overly excited on the outside, even if they really are on the inside. So, I really don't expect much in the way of a reaction. However, I can tell when he is glad about something. I started to put them back in the freezer so he could have them later, but, no way. He wanted them right then!!!
We had a nice evening with our besties. They come over most Friday nights. Tonight, we had steamed crab legs. They were on sale at WD and let me just say there was some goodness going on in my mouth and stomach!!! There was a lot of laughter and some good political discussions later on. (Maybe a post coming up on that soon?) Steph and I did a good job of reminding each other if our tones got negative or questionable with the boys. We are still praying that they don't catch on. Oh well, until then, we will just keep movin' on to the next dare...