Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The Love Dare

A great addition to FIREPROOF is the book that was in the movie called THE LOVE DARE.  The whole movie centers around this book.  It is a 40 day challenge to love your spouse in ways that may not always be easy or comfortable to you.  Sometimes you have to step outside of your comfort zone, especially in your thinking.

Frank and I have been married for almost 10 years (in January) and there have been a lot of lessons learned along the way, some good and some bad.  The most important thing that I have learned is that love is definitely NOT a feeling.  It is a choice.  Because believe me that there are days that Frank is NOT lovable (and yes, I know there are days that I'm not either.  Whatever.)  I spent a lot of time and energy trying to change Frank into the person that I wanted him to be.  Instead of trying to work on myself.  This mostly just ended in frustration and hurt feelings on both of our parts.  By now, I have learned more lessons about myself than I care to and yes, have given up the dream of changing my man on  a lot of issues.

All that to say that my BFF called and asked me if I wanted to do THE LOVE DARE with her.  Not on her man, but both of us at the same time go through this, without our men knowing!!!!  Then we could get together and share our experiences with each other. (okay maybe not ALL *wink wink*) See how the Lord chose to use this experience in both of our lives.  Sounded like a great idea to me.  So for the next 40 days, you will get a post on my Love Dare experience. (I know... I am excited too) Tomorrow marks the first day of the dare.

Even if you don't feel as though you are in a troubled marriage, we all can benefit from the lessons in the movie and in the book.  So, go see the movie if you haven't already.  And if you too want to participate along with us and share your experiences, feel free to post a comment on any of the days.  Come on... I dare ya!


Tonya said...

Hi, Ashely!

Okay, that's just AWESOME! (I mean, that you're going to "that church.") I bet you've got some stories to tell huh? =-)

After reading that the movie is centered around this book, I'm thinking I may order one for myself. (I might just get some for each of the ladies in our little church and have them ALL do it with me) THANKS for the GREAT idea!

Now, I'm REALLY excited about watching the movie with my husband. We actually USED to have a TERRIBLE marriage. (I mean, if we weren't Christians and our son hadn't got sick - we'd probably be divorced right now) See, after Brent relapsed, and when it came down to his last few weeks with us (when we KNEW we were going to lose him) my husband CRUMBLED. He confessed to me that he'd not been the husband he should've been (he used to be VERY MEAN to me). From then on things have just kept getting better. The only thing - I DO wish he were more "romantic" with me. (He puts TONS of effort into doing things with/and for the boys.. just doesn't seem to with me)

ANYWAY.. I think the movie will be GREAT for our marriage! (And you thought YOU left a long message?) HA!!!

It's been GREAT getting to know you! I can't wait to "visit" you again. =-)

Oh yeah, and if you happened to take down that sweet potato recipe I posted on my blog today.. it was missing one VERY IMPORTANT ingredient - CINNAMON! (It needs 2 tsp of cinnamon) I'm an airhead, what can I say??? O:-)

stephanie said...

I better be sure that Ryan doesn't read your blog for the next month and a half either! We'll pray the Lord will cover our bases while we sneak around being all loving and daring. :)

Anonymous said...

ahhh.... ok I need to add that book too! I have got to see that movie this week. Shawn gets to OH Thurs...I feel so behind!

Janine said...

Oh this will be good!!! I failed to mention to you that we are on our 2nd day. MY MY!! I didn't realize that Matt needed to change so much. Just kidding. I tell you what. It was quite a challenge to not be negative. We didn't fight about anything and it was still hard not to just spout off something negative vs positive. Well anyway this will be good for me, us. But it will be a challenge!! I was wondering can we put the love dare on hold during the time of the month? lol I'm serious!

Aimee said...

Would love to join...just after that cussing out session in labor in delivery!!! :-) Just kidding folks! Anyway, Ash I totally identify with the trying to "change" the spouse into what you "need" them to be. What a JOKE! Learned that one the hard way...I could go on and on about compromise, you know where you both just dig your feet in and not budge a bit! Oh, how sad and pitiful we where...God is so gracious! Anyway...can't wait to read all the post!

HisGeorgiaPeach said...

So excited for you. I would do this myself, but alas, I have no man. *grins* Can't wait to see what will be happening. Has your hubby seen he movie yet?

Did I mention I saw this movie? And absolutely. LOVED. IT! By far one of the best movies I've seen. I've been begging people to go and see it.

Tonya said...

Amen, Sister! (In response to your last comment) =-)

Yes, it's ALL about bringing GOD GLORY in the end!

Hey, we saw the movie last night. I wish I'd have thought to ask you BEFORE we went what part your hubby was in. The movie was AMAZING! (I'm going to get the book TODAY!)