Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Love Dare Day 14

In our marriages, we don't always feel like loving.  It is an unrealistic expectation to think that your heart will be overjoyed at the very thought of spending every moment with your spouse (yes, that means you too, Steph!)  We can't maintain desire for togetherness on feeling alone.   It is equally difficult to love out of obligation.

That is why one of the most important lessons that we, I, can learn is not to follow our hearts, but to lead them.  You do NOT let your heart give the orders.  It is not in charge.  All this worldly (albeit well intended sometimes) advice to "follow your heart" is hogwash.  You tell your heart where it is going to go.

While there is something refreshing and powerful about new love (most of us have been there or may still be there) there is something just as powerful... maybe more so than new love.  It's when no matter how long you have been married, you make a decision to delight in your spouse.  In other words, love that chooses to love is just as powerful as love that feels like loving.  In the beginning, we all feel like loving and delighting in each other.  It's after real life has set in and a few years have gone by and you have added debt and kids that honestly, sometimes you just don't feel like loving.  You've lost that loving feeling. (okay.  I won't say it again.  I just had to throw it in for a laugh.  You did laugh didn't you?  At least groaned right?)

You decide what you value in life.  No one else picks it for you.  If you are mad, it's because you choose to be mad.  I don't care what the circumstances are.  YOU JUST CHOSE TO BE MAD!  If you are irritable, it's because you have chosen to be irritable.  If you can't leave the house without the beds made up, it's because you (I) have decided that no other way is acceptable.  If you pick at your spouse more than you praise them, it's because you've allowed your heart to be selfish!  You have led your heart to be critical.  Do you see?

I don't lead my heart enough.  Last night was a perfect example of my heart doing the leading.  I let my emotions make the decisions.  I let my emotions decide if I should be offended.  I let my heart tell me to be hurt and mad.  I then let my emotions control my mouth before I found the HDT (stuff is never nearby when I need it!!) I let my heart and my emotions lead me.

Jeremiah 17:9 says The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?  Our hearts will trick us every time.  That's why we have to seek the Lord and the Word for our answers, NOT our hearts.  Go to the Word, seek the Lord, and then TELL our hearts what we are going to do and where we are going!


Okay.  Great.  That means no blogging obviously tonight. ( I usually write the bulk of these during the day when he is not here and after I do whatever then I write the rest)  So, I will post an update on the next days dare to his reaction to the no blogging.  I PROMISE he will be shocked!  I.AM.PRYING.MY.FINGERS.OFF.COMPUTER.   GOING.NOW!!!


He And Me + 3 said...

That would be me. That would be what I would have to do for day 14 too. I cannot wait to start the love dare. Thanks for always sharing your heart!

Christy said...

Great post!

I found your blog from Sandy Toes and thought I would come visit.

Thanks for sharing such encouraging and powerful words!

Sandy Toes said...

You are so funny! If I was doing would be no blogging husband would think the computer broke!
-Sandy toes

Jennifer said...

Oh my goodness I love your blog! I checked out your other blog last week, but I just found this one. Doing the Love Dare .. what a perfect series of blog topics. I admire your transparency on your blog.

Just curious .. is your husband a faithful blog reader on your blog?

Jennifer said...

Okay, after you reading a few more of your posts, I must go get the book!! (I have not seen the movie yet)

Jennifer said...

Day 14: That is what I chose too--getting off the PC and blogging and just "sit" with hubby and visit! I learned alot about his job tonight.