Thursday, October 23, 2008

Love Dare Day 15

Okay, about last night...  I KNOW I said no blogging.  But here's the thing.  I had already made plans last night for a girls night out for coffee after church.  And I still planned on fully cooperating with the no blogging thing when I got home and watching the episode of Criminal Minds which was on the DVR.  Only, when I got home, Frank was fast asleep.  And I didn't think it would be right to wake him just so that he could see that I wasn't blogging.  And would it have counted if he hadn't seen?  Right.  So, since I was wide awake from the espresso that was in my coffee at 9pm... I did the only thing I could... head on over to Bloggerville!

On, to today's dare!!

When you honor someone, you give them respect and treat them as very valuable and special.  You keep your language clean, you are polite and courteous.  When they speak to you, you take what they say very seriously.  You give much consideration to what they have to say.  If they ask you to do something, oftentimes you will do it just because they asked you to.  Honor is a "call" to recognize the position or the value of someone else.

This is what we should be doing in our marriages.  We should be honoring each other by giving our full attention instead of listening while we watch the news or read the paper.  Or speaking to each other while reading a book or even while having a conversation with someone on the phone (ladies, we are especially good at having more than one conversation at a time!!)  Our spouses matter!!!  Do they know it from the way we treat them???

I have to say that Frank and I struggle very much in this area.  Okay.  Frank more than me, but me too.  It drives me bonkers to try and have a conversation with him and see him staring at the stupid TV more than me while I am talking.  He KNOWS it is a problem.  I always bring up that if he was at work and I was a customer would he be looking the customer in the eye?  Well treat me like a customer please!!!  However, I sometimes try to talk to him with my back to him which is equally just as bad. (whatever)  Honor.  Respect.  Look each other in the eye.  Give each other the time of day please.

Okay, we are about to turn a corner here so stick with me for a few minutes.

THE LOVE DARE pointed out something to me that I had never thought of before and I really had to think on it for a few.  The word that actually forms the basis for honor is holy.  Scary, huh?  

That doesn't mean that our spouses or that we will ever be perfect.  Holiness means set apart.  No longer common or everyday.  Special.  Unique.  Not the same as everyone else.  When you get married, each of you becomes "holy" to the other.  No one else is supposed to have the same level of commitment or intimacy that the two of you share.  Your life and everything that it contains is to be pressed together in this crazy bond you share with this one person.

Is that what your marriage looks like?  Would your spouse say that you honor and respect them?  Maybe it's you that doesn't feel honored or respected.  Maybe you even have just reasons for feeling the way you do.  It probably doesn't cause you to want to show honor or respect yourself.

But... that's not the thing with true love.  Love shows honor even when it's rejected.  Love treats the other as special and highly regarded even when an ungrateful attitude is all you get in return.  Love says " With all the mistakes you've made and all the mistakes you will make, with all the times you have hurt me and all the times still to come--I still choose to love you and honor you anyway."  That, my friends, is how we lead our hearts to truly love our spouses.


Okay.  Since,  I didn't do the no blogging thing last night, that is what I am choosing to do tonight.  Frank will be home  a little later than normal.  It will be after the kids are in bed (yuck!  that means I have bath duty tonight:( > )  So once he hits the door, the computer is off and I not turning it back on.  Not even after he goes to sleep!  I want to focus ALL of my attention on him and not be distracted with other stuff.  I want him to feel loved and honored!  So, I will fill you in tomorrow.  At least on part of it... *wink*


Davisix said...

OK, this post was not one bit convicting...nope! LOL Seriously, you are so right. TB&H and I have our coffee together in the mornings while each on our separate laptops. He fills me in on news tidbits and I read him some of my favorite blogs. It's pathetic really. Thanks for this! :)

He And Me + 3 said...

This is one day that both of us are going to really have to try hard at. I so cannot wait to get into the book. You are leading the way and doing a great job.

Jennifer said...

So Walmart didn't have the book, so I will order online tomorrow.

Sandy Toes said...

I tagged you...come over!

Amy Lynn said...

Geeze. I am able to relate to a lot more of these than I would like to admit. :)

Thanks for posting. It is actually helping me identify some problems with myself that I have never payed attention to. (Shocker!)

Anonymous said...

This is a great post, and in this crazy world where it seems like everything is rush rush rush we dont' take time to talk to our spouses like we should. We like to go to bed and have our quiet time together just laying there talking about our day and all the stuff going on in our lives.

Jerri Lynn @ Southern Sassyness said...

Hey! You've got something from me at my blog....